In the Beginning....

 I remember when Kevin and I first got married in September 2000. One thing we agreed on was that we did not want children. We envisioned a full life ahead with just the two of us as a small family unit. We figured we had siblings, parents, cousins and other extended family and friends to keep us busy and enrich our lives. We traveled, worked at our successful jobs, owned a condo, got a kitten (Who Kevin named Nittany because of his love for Penn State). Our lives were good! Kevin and I in San Francisco on the bay After a few years, things started to feel monotonous. We went to work, came home cooked dinner or went out, watched some TV or went to the gym, and then went to bed. The next day that same cycle started all over again. Something, I realized, was missing. I started feeling as if there was a hole in my life. I loved Kevin, my job was great, but it was almost like a piece of the puzzle was missing-an important and vital piece. It was at this time we decided through much discussion that we did want to have kids! That was what we felt was missing. We wanted little ones to share our lives with and give our love and attention to. So, this began the saga-our journey to have children. By 2003, we had lived in the condo for 3 years together and had been trying to get pregnant for a few months. We eventually decided to sell our condo and build a house closer to our jobs. The condo was built in the 70's and we wanted something new and fresh that we could put our own stamp on and begin making lasting memories in. We moved in with Kevin's parents while the new house was being built. The neighborhood as we first saw it The house was finished in the fall of 2004. It was beautiful! All of our designs and finishes came together pleasantly! We had our new home, our jobs, our travels and now we were hoping for a baby, even though we had been trying for almost a year! After talking with my doctor at this time, he told me that anyone who had tried without result for at least a year to become pregnant was considered to be going through infertility. Boy, that was a new word for me! I guess I knew what it meant, but was shocked that it was happening to me. My doctor explained that there were some options I could try. Surgery was one he suggested. I could have a laparoscopy to see if everything looked OK with my ovaries and fallopian tubes. I decided to go for it and had the surgery the in the spring of 2005. He did find some blockage in one of my fallopian tubes

and took care of that. To increase our chances I started on Clomid in August of 2005. I prayed to God about this choice and felt it was in his hands. He ultimately would decide if the medication would work or not. It had now been almost two years since we started trying for a baby!

We left for Las Vegas about a week after I started the medication. We thought the trip would do us good. When we left I was feeling really overwhelmed, anxious and just plain sick. I called the doctor and they informed me that some people had side affects while taking the Clomid. I had nausea, weakness, lose of appetite, just to name a few. I felt like I had the flu. We tried to enjoy ourselves, but I ended up in bed early most nights because of how sick I felt. Luckily, we went with friends that could keep Kevin company while I slept.

Kevin and I in Vegas. I'm trying to smile, but felt exhausted and terrible at the time.

When we returned from Vegas I decided I could not keep taking the medicine. I felt too bad on it and thought maybe it was God's way of telling me he would take care of the situation without me dabbling in fertility drugs!

By November of 2005, I had had it! It was going on 3 years and we still were not pregnant. I was sick of seeing pregnant people, sick of going to baby showers, and really sick of everyone telling me to "Just relax." I had become friends with a family who had a adopted a little girl from Guatemala. The mother told me of all the orphans that needed good homes down there. I pondered this for a while and after a few months of praying and thinking about it, I realized that this could be part of God's plan for us. Maybe I wasn't getting pregnant because Kevin and I were meant to adopt a baby who needed a good home. I looked into it and found an agency based out of Pennsylvania. The site reflected the faith of the owner and her passion to help children of Guatemala. I quickly contacted her and sent a preliminary application. I heard back extremely soon and had a long conversation with the agency owner. She took lots of information from me and I expressed that I was a Catholic, had tried for 3 years to get pregnant, knew a family who had adopted, and so on. She looked over our information and the next time I talked with her she said she normally didn't match people with a child so soon, but she had a great feeling about me, and knew of the family I was friends with who had previously adopted in Guatemala! She then told me news that shook my world. A baby boy had just been born in Utatlan, Guatemala and she knew the mother was not prepared to take care of him. If we were interested we could start the adoption process and this little boy would be ours! I immediately started sobbing into the phone and said, "Yes, we want to start the process!" A few days later I received the picture below.

We were delirious with excitement! Our new baby was finally here! Well, here on the Earth, not yet with us or even in our country! It was November of 2005 and off we were into the adoption process. Little did we know what we were getting ourselves into. We were told we should have him by May of 2006. Lots of paperwork, signatures, notaries and MONEY followed! We couldn't stand the waiting, but tried to do things to pass the time. I was busy with teaching and taking classes and Kevin was busy with work and side projects.

In May 2006 on a Saturday, I sat in a professional development class. We still didn't have Cole, but kept thinking any day we could hear news. I pulled my calendar out of my purse to look at the date and realized not only that it was in fact a Saturday in May, but something even more startling....I hadn't had my period in over a month and a half. Apparently the blood drained from my face, as I was later told by the instructor of the class. I went out into the hallway and called Kevin. He was confused, but said we'd discuss it when I got home.

After the class, I rushed to a CVS and picked up a pregnancy test. After so many failed ones I didn't want to get my hopes up. Also, this wasn't even in my realm of thought at the time. We had been so focused on getting Cole (our baby in Guatemala) that I hadn't even thought any more about getting pregnant. Once home, I took the test and what do you know? Two little pink lines! I was finally pregnant!!!! But wait, what about the other baby? There were now going to be two babies? What were we going to do? Needless to say we were in utter shock. I went to the doctor that week and everything was confirmed, I was indeed pregnant! I was about a month along.

My pregnancy was terrible. I went into pre-term labor in September 2006 and was confined to bedrest for the remainder of the pregnancy. I was also put on Terbutaline for contractions. The Terbutaline made the Clomid seem like taking candy! I felt absolutely awful on the medicine, but I had to take it. It helped stop my contractions and keep my pregnancy viable.

Later in the month of September, we received the news we'd been waiting on for almost a year! It was time to pick up Cole, our son in Guatemala. I, of course, couldn't go because of my pregnancy, so Kevin was on his own. He flew down by himself and met our son! The trip went anything but smoothly. Upon arrival of our son to the hotel, Kevin noticed the baby had spots all over him. He was given an ointment to rub on the spots. He called me in a panic! Our new son was crying himself to sleep, not knowing what was going on and my husband was not at all sure what these mysterious spots were! I called the pediatrician and they informed me that it sounded like chicken pox! They also said ointment was the last thing to be putting on them. He needed Calamine lotion. The nearest pharmacy was not close and Kevin had no car and didn't speak Spanish. What was he going to do? To be continued......